Sunday, January 24, 2010

Last Letter- Part 2




Dear S,

Today when I am writing this letter, I am not thinking about you but all the men you have been with, all of them who were behind you and after you, the flowers, the letters, the phone calls exchanged to choke you, to annihilate you. Yes, today I am thinking about all of it. But it is to you, S, that I am writing this letter, my last letter. I know you’re not the same though I admire you tremendously—or even still love you madly. But then love and madness are synonymous. Aren’t they?

Trust to what your heart will tell you,
For from heaven no sign comes.



S, perhaps you were too sensitive, too delicate to handle the insecurities of life and the shock of daily experience. But as you know I have always been a dreamer, a thinker, a typical non-go-getter. In my dreams, I always thought that against all odds a girl comes back to her true love, to the underdog just as you see in the movies. However, the contemporary brand of realism is something where extraordinary or something fantastic never happens. Realism is about reality and reality is about disappointments. Isn’t it? You might find me naive, or better still a loser. Yes, I feel that’s exactly what you think. No wonder, you ejected me from your life like a cartridge. But that’s alright. Even losers need as much of the sunshine as the go-getters do. Even losers know their art well, the art of losing, that is. And losers are as real a human being as any achievers are. I mean, I can’t change my true self just because it gives me disappointments. I wish to tell you what Miller said: “I have no money, no resource, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive.” And, that’s my reality.

S, your letter came in like a frozen meat in the chilling winters. It was already quite uncomfortable; the bed became an icebox, and the bathroom a graveyard. And this letter! The only warmth I could avail was the little space around my stove. For ten days, I did not touch my computer, or any book; nor have any idea except for writing to you this letter. And now that I am writing I do not have anything to write to you.

S, I love anything that flows. I love everything that grows. So, let me pray that you grow, and let me pray that you flow, just like a river. Carry on, shine on!

As usual, free smiles and cheers from me...

Faithfully yours,

....

9 comments:

Datsme said...

Ladies and Gentlemen, lo and behold.. LAzy man is back and how!!
fantabulous read. Short, precise and yet soo deep...totally loved it.

Aniruddha S said...

heavy stuff man heavy stuff.....

Neeraj said...

no worries after sometime heaviness becomes light...I mean, along the line u carry so much baggage with you that ur heaviness becomes comforting... hahaha...cheers mate!

Datsme said...

Gr8! U know the whole idea of creating a pseudo name for blogging is that you keep your identity separate.
If you wud be soo kind as to delete my name from ur earlier comment plzz :)

Datsme said...

Gr8! U know the whole idea of creating a pseudo name for blogging is that you keep your identity separate.
If you wud be soo kind as to delete my name from ur earlier comment plzz :)

BaKfIrE said...

Good one...infact great read.
one random quest...are you a Piscean ?

Neeraj said...

@datsme:- ur wish granted...comment deleted..:)

@Bakfire:- Thanks man... and I am a Virgo not a piscean.:)

nohaemile said...

Wow..
That was flawless!
I loved it.. made me sad.. so sad, and that's why i loved it.

Neeraj said...

@nohaemile: Thanks for liking the story, and visiting my blog...:-)

Cheers!